Shafonne Myers is a certified wedding and event planner and instructor. She also runs Pretty Pear Bride, the world’s only magazine for plus size brides. But more importantly has been in a relationship with her husband for more than 18 years, married for 9, mother to 2 kids: age 2 ½ and 7 and a stepmother to an 11 year old. So she is well versed and seen quite a bit in the parenting and relationship arena and hopes to bring you the ups, the downs and the sometimes hazy middle of being a parent. Check out her tips below on how to include your children on your wedding day!
When getting married, there are so many things to think about; wedding attire, location, date, time and everything in-between. But often times, no one thinks about the people involved, not just the bride or the groom but what about the children. If the bride or groom has children they are affected by the wedding planning too. On numerous occasions, one or both sides of the new marriage bring children to the relationship.
Depending on whether you are the parent or the one being told about a child, it is a necessity that everyone involved is open. Your partner deserves to know if you have children and you as the parent owe it to your child to be open and honest. It isn’t fair to anyone to be secretive and hide this important fact from one another.
As kids there is nothing better than feeling like you are a part of something and this is no different. So making sure to include the children in the ceremony in some way is a fantastic way to get them involved and feeling like they are becoming a part of the new family. Check out these great ways to incorporate children into a blended family ceremony.
Let the children be a part of the wedding planning process by bringing them in as flower girls, junior bridesmaids, ring bearers or groomsmen. It will allow them to feel like they are truly a part of the wedding.
Just as a bride and groom perform a sand ceremony to represent the blending of the two families, bringing children into this ceremony signifies the same thing. This allows the children to come in and participate in a very symbolic and meaningful aspect of the ceremony. As an added bonus you can allow everyone to pick out his or her own color and save the sand filled vase and display it in the home.
This is a great idea especially for kids old enough to participate in the vows. After the bride and groom have exchanged their vows then the kids and the newly married bride and groom exchange vows. This symbolizes that the new parents are taking a vow to include and nourish the children’s relationship as much as the couple’s relationship. As an added bonus, add in a ring, necklace or bracelet to commiserate the vows as well.
Family Unity Candle
The bride and groom light a family unity candle during the ceremony. Once the unity candle is lit then the kids come up and light their candles from the lit unity candle. As an added bonus the kids can say a little congratulations or thank you to the couple once their candle is lit.
Blending two families can be a very difficult situation to handle on top of planning a wedding but it’s not impossible. Ensuring that you create a loving and nourishing environment for the children is key. Involving them in the wedding will be the first step of many wonderful and fond memories that you all will share for years to come.
Check out our interview with Shafonne Myers about her Pretty Pear Bride Empire here!