I’m so glad you decided to join me for Scene 4 of my “Journey To The Aisle” series. Ways to honor the loved ones Kenneth and I have lost is weighing heavy on my heart. In Scene 1 of this blog series, I shared the recent loss of my fiance's mother and brother. I will have a physical void also on our special day of my paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather.
The challenge is how do I incorporate them without dampening the celebratory spirit of our wedding day. I want to be extremely sensitive to Kenneth's feelings because his wounds are so fresh from his mother's passing. When we walk down the aisle it will mark the fifth month of her homegoing. To be honest, I shed tears as I write this blog post, I’ve started and stopped at least four times. I haven’t gained the strength to remove her name from the guest list or have a conversation with him about what his wishes are in honoring his family. It's very hard!
Here are some of my ideas:
Moment of Reflection
During our ceremony, taking a few moments to reflect on the joy we shared with our loved ones and how happy they are looking down on us at that moment. Another option is during the reception, honoring them with a toast.
Picture & Candle Display
I thought of gathering our favorite pictures of our loved ones and placing them by our guestbook and a lit votive for each of them.
I had a flower from her funeral freeze dried and framed for Kenneth. I was thinking of placing the framed flower in the seat where she would be seated.
Having his mother's wedding ring sewn into his wedding suit pocket, over his heart. Kenneth's parents have been married for 45 years. They have experienced so much life together and I hope to share the same along our marital journey.
If this is something you are facing, I encourage you to do what’s best for you as a couple. Though these are my ideas, I have to take into consideration how Kenneth is feeling closer to our special day. We may pick one of the ideas above or choose to have our honorary moments privately before our ceremony.
Planner Tip: Not having lost loved ones physically present on one the most joyous days of your life is difficult. As I stated in Scene 1, life is going to keep happening around you as you plan your wedding. Take things one day at a time and enjoy the journey.
Photo Credit: Michelle Davina Photography
Please share below how you honored lost loved ones on your wedding day.
See you in two weeks; same time, same day.
Ashley Miller is an Atlanta-based Wedding Planner. Her desire to share her personal wedding planning journey and the realness about the combination of life & planning a wedding led her to Black Bride. Ashley is a true Peach, born and raised in Georgia. She experiences true joy when assisting her wedding clients through the unknown of the wedding world. Keep up with Ashley at BlushEventCompBlog or on IG @BlushEventComp