Finding love and keeping that fire going can be an uphill battle. However, have no fear because Dr. Alduan Tartt, psychologist, speaker and author, has the love formula on how to get and keep the ring! Dr. Tartt is not only an expert on the matters of the heart but he also shares his expertise as the TV Host of TVOne's LOVE ADDICTION, where he provides remedies for dating, relationships, parenting and youth issues. We met up with Dr. Tartt in New York at the Circle of Sisters Expo, where we got the chance to chat one-on-one with the love doctor. Check out our interview with Dr. Tartt .
1. What do you think is the number one mistake women make when seeking to find a mate to settle down with?
I actually think there are a few mistakes that women make:
- First, women must understand their power to attract men. A woman does not have to chase what she has the power to attract. However, the only way to become aware of that power is to have a strong sense of self in who you are and what value you add to mankind.
- Second, women must have an active social life. Dating is a social activity. In order to attract men, you must be around men in the appropriate settings. Too many women spend all of their time with girlfriends away from men. Attend some business luncheons and networking events, or anything related to money. Trust me, men will be there because we are always interested in new ways to provide.
- Third, women must remember that women are visual creatures. Thus, you must be in great health and love yourself inside and out. If men see that you don't take care of your own mind/body then how can you take care of me and our future family?
2. In your book "The Ring Formula: How To Be The Only One He Ever Needs," you mention the term a "Deserving Man." What are some of the qualities of a deserving man and how can a woman discern these characteristics in the man she is currently dating.
3. What are some of the things that brings a man closer to popping the question ?
- His financial ability to afford the wedding and provide.
- Doubt about being faithful.
- Fear that the woman will hurt him after they wed.
Thus, address those fears directly and focus on friendship more than forcing him to marry you. You will run him away because he thinks that you value a ring over friendship.
4. After he gets down on one knee how do you keep the excitement in the relationship leading up to marriage and beyond?
- Talk daily for at least 30 minutes if you can
- Treat him like the boyfriend while he is your fiance and husband
- Remember that men need considerably more physical touch to feel loved, so touch him as much as possible
- Join his ambitions and assist him in making them come true
- Schedule couple time together to keep the connection strong
Dr. Tartt at the 2012 Circle of Sisters Expo, Relationship Panel: "Nothing's Perfect But It's Worth It: Finding the Right Relationship For You"
Pictured: Lenny Green, Nicole Ari Parker, Dr. Alduan Tartt, Dr. Ian Smith.
5. Do you really believe that there is a formula for true love?