The Best Trap-Made Wedding Songs: Pt. 1
Test. Fam, if there is one thing that I have learned being a blogger over the years, it is that trends are standards by which we navigate our social presence. From Instagram to Snapchat, Twitter to Tumblr and Pinterest – the only thing better than being "on trend" is carving your own path that then becomes a trend. And to that end, I present to you the Best Trap-Made Wedding Songs – Pt. 1.
Now, before you burn a hole through your screen giving me the most violent side eye this side of Miss Sophia and Squeak (is there a better scene in the Color Purple than Miss Sophia's right hook?! I think not!), Trap Music is a thing – and it's not a new thing. I am quite familiar with being over the age of 30, and I have been listening to Trap Music since Bone Crusher told me while I was in Junior High that he was neva' scared, and I was inclined to agree; because why would a man that large be afraid of ANYTHING that didn't require a concealed carry permit?
However as I digress, Trap Music has now become "trendy" (**cough, cultural appropriation, cough**), and as trends tend to do, Trap Music has seeped its way into every facet of life; and not just its respective lanes, which involve wing specials, spinning poles, and house parties where the police double as Neighborhood Watch. I have heard Trap Music EVERY-WHERE. Office parties at Hilton Ballrooms, H&M department stores, Sunday church service where your local organist/hair dresser/tea-spiller extraordinaire has tried to Holy-up the soundtrack to Saturday night's shenanigans. In fact, the only place that I haven't heard Trap Music is at daycares and playgrounds, but given that Lil Jon and the Black Team have a trap remix to "London Bridge is Falling Down," that may be due to a lack of ambition on my part.
That being said, I have compiled a list Best Trap-Made Wedding Songs for you and your guests to Milly Rock out to at your nuptials. Just make sure that before you and your guests get down, you turn down your MawMaw's hearing aid. I can't be held responsible for Future giving your grandma a heart attack.
1. Neva Eva (Get On My Level) – Trillville feat. Lil Jon
There is no other reason to play this song at a wedding than for the Bride and Groom to stunt on anyone there who is not currently getting married that day – so literally every one of your guests. You are shining in a flawless gown. The groom's tux is tailored down to laces in his Louboutin wingtips. Who is better than the two of you at this exact moment? Who is on your level? Answer: Nobody. Not a single person, and as the sparkle on the icing on your cake, don't you let them forget it. Remind everyone on the dance floor that there are indeed levels them forget it. Remind everyone on the dance floor that there are indeed levels to this, and they need to get on yours!
2. H.U.M.B.L.E – Kendrick Lamar
There are few things that warm my heart like a Black man telling other grown, bill paying, tax filing men to be humble. Something about the inherent arrogance and near blatant emasculation warms me from the apex of my crown, the extremities of my toes! K. Dot and his consistent lyrical slaughter may have single handedly saved hip-hop (yep, I'm looking to start a fight). But if ever there were a song for the Groom and his fella's on the Big Day, it's H.U.M.B.L.E. Guaranteed that you and your man are bound to have some salty "friends" at your ceremony who are going to try and shade your shine. If you are like me, you invited them on purpose just so you can smirk on their saltiness. I'm petty. So let your forever bae and boo for life get extra fly on the dance floor with his groomsmen; and let the world know that he has the best Bride, best Wife, and that everyone else needs to fall back, sit down, and be humble.
3. The Let Out – Jidenna
The pivotal element in any Trap song is the beat. Lyrics are a far afterthought. Exhibit A: Future's entire career. Few songs have exploited this fact like Jidenna's the Let Out. The beat knocks! The fact that the lyrics are aptly describing that the place to be is wherever he and his crew are at is only added bonus, especially in this case. What better place is there for your guests to be on your wedding day than at your wedding? Your event IS the let out! And because you are the Bride and Groom, it doesn't become the Let Out until you get there. It just makes sense. I recommend walking into the reception to this song.
4. Pop Style – Drake feat. The Throne
There will never be a time when I am not here for Jay's arrogance and Kanye's overly intelligent, always ambitious lyricism. I even consider Drake's "Take Care" to be one of the best hip-hop albums of the last 10 years (again, I'm looking to fight). There is just something about confident confidence. Pop Style is a perfect embodiment of this. The mellowed pace and smooth delivery says "I can't do anything but sit back and be fly!" and that is the epitome of Bride and Groom life – fly unto the limits of the sky. Plus it's featuring The Throne. The Throne. If that doesn't scream you and your spouse, nothing does.
5. Swimming Pools (Drank) – Kendrick Lamar
This is indeed Kendrick Lamar's second entry on this list, because he keeps it classy while Trapping it up; and as someone who actively turns her nose up at people mixing anything other than a single ice cube or a glass with their whisky, classy Trap speaks to me on a spiritual level. I like Swimming Pools (Drank) because at the outset, it gives instructions for what your guests should be doing: Pour up (Drank), Headshot (Drank), Sit down (Drank), Stand up (Drank). Now I'm not saying that you should have a pool full of liquor that people dive into at your wedding. I'm also not saying that you shouldn't have it.
Per Trap code, there are levels to this; so this will be (what I hope) is an ongoing list here at Black Bride magazine. Trap Music isn't going anywhere, weddings aren't going anywhere, and barring your Granny fainting when Metro Boomin drops the beat on this Trap music list at your wedding reception, I'm not going anywhere!
Congratulations on your love!