My husband and I are kind of weird, and I mean weird in a good way. Often times when we road trip, we don’t have any music playing. Now, that is not that far out there, but hang on I’m going somewhere with this. Ultimately, what that does is create an atmosphere for conversation. If you’re thinking the one thing you NEED as a Newlywed is conversation, you’re getting warmer, but that’s not quite it. From my experience, what I feel is needed for all newlyweds is quality time, alone together. Now, don’t get me wrong. Hanging with other couples is always great and fun, but to truly establish the most fruitful relationship with your spouse, you must spend moments alone together. I’ve developed three ways that will enhance your alone time with your mate and ultimately lead to a warmer, transparent, and best friend relationship with your spouse.
Get Away From It All:
Now, if you have children, a bit more planning will have to go into this one, but sometimes you have to get away from the day to day hustle and bustle of life, and get lost in your mate. It can be a day, weekend, or even week-long trip (Grand Canyon). It’s all about you and your spouse spending time together. Here’s a tip, if you look up different landmarks in your city, you can come up with some places to travel that might be only an hour or two away. For instance, Georgia has Providence Canyon, which is a version of the Grand Canyon with hiking and biking trails that would be a fun recreational day and great place to make memories.
Take a Social Media Break:
Thanks to social media most of us can document each and every moment of our lives with the click of a button. Now, that might sound exciting to some people, but for me, it takes the intimacy out of the activities I do with my husband. Remember what we said about intimacy? Bishop Jakes blew my mind with this break down, “in-to-me-see”. Intimate moments further allow you to see into your mate. Whether it’s having Saturday brunch and then heading to the bookstore, or dirt bike riding through muddy waters, those moments are vulnerable and could be kept private or shared with family/friends (you know the people that are actually rooting for you). Funny story, we went dirt bike riding a few weeks back and I took a break to check out the festival that was also going on. By the time we linked back up, my husband is covered in mud (I was as well, but he beat me by a long shot!). I smiled and asked, “Are you having fun?” Of course, he said yes, and the guys he met on the trail were just as muddy. I was seeing into the adventurous side of my husband, which was an extremely enjoyable experience. I encourage you to ask your spouse this question: “________ (honey, baby, sweetie, love) when we share certain moments together, do you prefer we keep them private?” After all, it’s not like you have anything to prove, right. So next time you decide to take a road trip, romantic dinner, or even go dirt bike riding, take some time away from social media and really enjoy the occasion with your spouse. Contrary to the popular belief, everything doesn’t have to be shared with the world.
Just Do IT:
Well, let me make myself clear here. This is not an endorsement for Nike. Quick story: very early in our marriage, we decided to establish a rule. A BIG rule, and it was that we would never deny one another. So if one of us taps the other on the shoulder, no matter what time of night, we turn over and enjoy ourselves. Catch my drift? Intimacy in marriage is key so I’m only talking to the married folks here as I do believe and promote abstinence and celibacy. As a young girl studying abroad, the writer in me decided to have an intimate relationship with my French neighbor that was in film school. If you can’t tell, as a juvenile writer I got a little carried away with reality. So, I took a chance with him and let’s just say it would’ve been better to just wait on my husband, as my parents instilled in me. Thank goodness, nothing bad ever happens to a writer, it’s all just material! So I want to encourage the married couples to truly embrace the physical nature of your marriage, compliment one another, kiss for no reason, surprise one another, and truly enjoy each other. What makes marriage so beautiful is that you belong to that person for the rest of your life. As life goes on, memories increase, the bond grows stronger, and then you wake up at your 10-year wedding anniversary: Mama we made it.
Until next time…
May your love last a lifetime and your kisses get sweeter! -Elizabeth Hall
P.S. Quick way to set the mood, ask your spouse for 15-seconds, like this, “Hey honey, do you have 15 seconds?” Plant a kiss for 15 seconds (hold it…hold it.., and French isn’t needed, but never hurts) and it’s bound to bring a smile and maybe lead to other things. I got that from the Fierce Marriage couple, and I had to share.