For the next few posts, I have decided to answer some questions that I get anonymously. Since Black Bride is for the bride before, during and after she says I Do, some of these questions could very well help those fans that read the blog regardless of what is happening within their marriage. Once you say I Do, you are always a Black Bride.
Question: What do I do, my fiance is taking money out of the wedding account and it is messing up the budget and plans?
Answer: Dear Bride, what was the agreement when you and your fiance' first established the wedding account. Obviously it is a joint account. Below are some questions to ask yourself:
1) Did you have an agreement that you had to talk with each other first before money was removed?
2) Was the money only to be used for wedding expenses?
3) Was the money used for a wedding expenses or was it just like found money and he spent it on something he wanted or needed?
4) Are you both contributing to the account? How does the money get into the account – is it from gifts that people have given you or did you both agree to contribute a certain amount per paycheck in an effort to reduce wedding expenses?
5) Did he tell you he removed the money or you found out when you went to verify the amount in order to make a wedding deposit?
6) Does this make you feel as if you can't trust him when it comes to money?
7) If money is used from the wedding account, does it have to be paid back if it is not for a wedding expense?
These questions should be answered when you are not in the heat of a financial situation. Take some time to cool down because the money is not there. Then answer each of the questions truthfully. The behavior you are seeing when it comes to money during the engagement is more than likely what you would see once you have said "I Do". Tread with caution.